Happy or Sad?

Yesterday 13th of july, consider the judgment day for all of us, but so far all of us make it thru and graduated at last, including me. Hell yea i m fucking grad now, for 4 and the half years, at last i m officially fucking graduate!
This suppose be the happiest moment for me, but i dun feel like the mood to celebrate it, juz nearly one month ago my relation wif my long together partner that suppose to be together till the end of life juz finish, no sad feeling but still...relation that stand almost a decade, just end =/
Reason and answer for this event is kinda bullshit, but i m powerless to stop it, some may thought i m a sissy din try for it, well screw u cuz if u in the situation u will feel hopeless and wan to die, i hav endure lot fucking shit like this n this is the most fucking shit i ever encounter, even the mighty god that i can always go to cant even help me in this peril situation. but however both of us juz bid each other may live happily ever after, greatest farewell i guess.
So this really make me realised one fuck important thing, fate is not the only thing that bring couple together, destiny oso one of it, people maybe tied together by fate, they are fate to be meet and loving each other, there always a destiny that interupt their life, it can really turn bad into good or good into bad, depend on situation, but i guess mine is good into bad. So i realised me n my girl might fate to be together and are fate to loving n caring each other, but still v might not be destined together, of cuz there a reason n answer behind all this n i know it well, is juz plainly bullshit.
I cant blame anyone for this, i cant blame her parents cuz they giv born for such a lovely child that really let me cherrish the 9 years time, nor god since he granted me met wif her, juz that i plainly pure bad luck in this kind of business, really bad, if think back last time, i kinda playboy till i settle down...none last long, n finally went things goes well it juz went poof!
i kinda blame myself for this but haha, there mayb more unlucky ppl outside than me, mayb they are hungry for weeks or got killed or other thing, screwed those who think like this cuz i think wat worse still the broken soul, none can heal the fucking soul that feel wan to die, juz like living dead. oh? hell yea u bet i been thru this shit and u nvr wan to experience it. but still....i m alive now rite?
Now i learned that juz try cherrish as much as possible, and keep it, as the best memories of life, there might still a chance to find far better memories but still, u nvr wanted to lose the joy n pain that make u growed.
So wat the planning yea? hmm...i will work harder to prove that i m not fucking shit that taunt by my fucking luck n work hard for it, its been a while that i haven feel this strangely feeling that i would again face the hardest challenge of a male livehood process, but i will....if possible XD
I will nvr let ppl esspecially my former love one to see that i m suffering, i must fucking show her that i m ok n happy as i always was, so she will not worry bout me...NVR...

**BTW...gratz to all buddies that grad wif me XDXDXDXD...its been a while XD

Comments

py said…
hehehe cheer up lar no3!!! still long journey to go! u will find someone soon!!! gambadeh!!!
H24 said…
meh....see how

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